Are you trying to fix a girl’s life? Solving her problems – the number one most employed method for getting a girlfriend : Long before she has even hinted that she is interested in me,
I will become her pillar of support, I will pick up the rock a top as she stands and sees the world clearly I will sacrifice my arse days mood work plans energy
Because I believe that if I’m there for her, she will fall in love with me.
THIS IS ONE OF THE STUPIDEST IDEAS GUYS HAVE and perform an action over and over again
Understand a simple distinction
It is one thing support your girlfriend because you expect her to do the same.
It is another to help a girl with selfish motives in your mind,
if you want to help somebody because you can and have the spare time then do, that shows you have a helping nature but help that is like “I’m doing this for you and I want something in return it’s not help.
That’s an exchange of services and that’s very selfish.
What you need to understand is the guy she’s going to date and the guy she finds comfort in, are two very different things. You are her support system AKA the “kandha friend” that no way entails that she is interested in you romantically sure there maybe flirtation sometimes,
she may sometimes emotionally say endearing affectionate things to you but do not take them as signs of her wanting to be your girlfriend. She is being affectionate toward you may be grateful that does not imply she wants to kiss you or make love to you,
Here’s what happens in the life of a guy who is helping girl – Or we can say Mr. Kandha
YOU ARE ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO HER
YOU ARE FREQUENTLY IN TOUCH VIA TEXTING you know everything about what’s going on in her life, she tells you where she is right now, what she’s doing and keeps you informed
She asks you for Opinions,
She runs Decisions by you,
She Trusts you a lot
She gives you Attention you are used to talking with her a lot, she has become a routine,
She sometimes says you are the nicest guy, she knows her life would have been a mess without you, she’s so happy to have you in her life…………
These may appear very similar to dynamics between a romantic couple which is what gives you the idea that you are there, what you’re doing is you are ready to drop everything the moment she needs you!
You are thinking about her all the time, you tell yourself you are in love, you have stopped working !
your goals mean less to you
you are spending all the time, energy and emotions – trying to explain to her what’s good for her, you want to be her father teacher brother husband and her boyfriend and happiness to you is she now!
You’re not even in a relationship with her, so what you are is delusion ally fucked.
The reason she gives you regarding why she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you is, she wants to fix her life, she wants to be happy with herself. Her life is a mess
she’s not ready
She wants to focus on her self worth, studies
All of this is garbage, what she’s indirectly communicating to you is she has not met the right guy!
YOUUUUU ARE NOT THE GUY SHE WANTS TO DATE
You were the guy she would have felt the attraction and she would have made whatever needed adjustments to incorporate you in her life
HERE’S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND VERY CLEARLY
Problems never go away, this idea that I’m fixing my life and in three weeks or three months I will be faced and ready to start a relationship is horseshit!
People go into relationships when they like someone!
The problems continue, separately you can solve them or you can take them along.
The guy she’s going to date will get her because she was attracted to either his intelligence, looks, money or any combination of things she wants. Not because she thought he can solve my problems.
The guy who i is solving her problems becomes a shoulder (Hence kandha friend baby)
The guy she dates becomes an attraction. So if you are in a relationship which has nothing but hopes that you have cooked up because she is nice to you. Get the fuck away it right now,
if you don’t believe me.
Ask her right now!! Do you want to go out on a date with me?
Would you like to date me? Chances are she’s going to reply I just want you as a friend
or I always saw you as a friend, I don’t want to ruin our friendship, I don’t want to date anyone, I never saw you like that – SHE MEANS NO!
And here’s a worst part, It’s not her fault
Every person wants ATTENTION
you are literally available to her whenever she needs you
why wouldn’t she want that, she never promised you that she was going to date you.
Then You think about your efforts or love you made that up. & then you think girls are bitches. No you are a weak moron.
Lastly, never help somebody who constantly requires your help, chances are that don’t they don’t want to solve their problems, the Love their problems
Because one’ it helps them whine
two’ they use their problems as a blame for why they’re not doing anything in life
three’ they like attention from drama
if you have been with such a person then you know that their problems never ended.
they never wanted to solve them, they just want to talk about them endlessly and you are perfect audience for that drama so even as people they’re actually talks it
I understand that you have invested in this very emotionally and you might say our wrongs are very real, there are so many complications made.
I ask you, Is your life perfect? Is your life at where you want it to be?
Why not focus there?
I hope this post helps you. If you have any questions you can ask them below in the comments or just can appreciate my work 😛
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